About a year before the writing of my book, Living In Consciousness, I found myself in a deepened dream state after a meditation period just before I went to bed. I was flying through the streets of a town I had not been to in my physical life. This was nothing since I have always been able to fly in my dreams.
The date was unknown to me, but everything resembled a small mining type town from the eighties. This evaluation was based on the older model cars that sparsely lined the mostly abandoned streets, and the old, un-kept building exteriors that seemed to have degenerated through the years.
I could see people here and there, walking about, but they paid no attention to me hovering above. As I flew down what appeared to be main-street, I could tell I had no physical body. I noticed that every time I wanted to look at something, I couldn’t feel the skin of my neck stretching or my bones maneuvering. I simply could see all that I wanted to without effort.
All of a sudden, I was before another old building structure that I had never seen. I found myself flying right through the walls to the inside where I was instantly inside of a small, partially illuminated room. I stopped moving but was still hovering; there was a small crowd of people below me, sitting in chairs. They never looked up, but I don’t think they could have seen me if they had. Their portion of the room had no lights on, but directly ahead of them was another room that was lit, and to the right of both areas was a narrow, wooden, dark staircase that went straight up into an attic. I couldn’t see the attic, I just felt it.
The two areas were separated by a glass that nearly went floor to ceiling; and on the inside of the glassed area were four other people. Three of them wore uniforms and surrounded the fourth; a woman who was strapped to a narrow body-length board; there was one person at the head of the board, and one on each end of an outstretched arm. The board had small wing type add-ons where the woman had her arms strapped as well. The strapped woman was in her late thirties to early forties. Her head was turned hard to the right as two of the other people did something to her left arm. She did not want to watch what they were doing.
I floated right through the glass and held still directly over the woman’s face on the board. The light from the room was very bright and made her face seem ghostly pale. I never saw anyone’s lips move, but I knew what they were all saying.
The woman on the board was asked by one of the others, “Do you have anything to say?”
The woman, in a pleading way, answered, “I’m innocent! I’m innocent!”
And almost before her sentence was finished, her cheeks sunk in and the life force left her. Now this gets tricky to explain without sounding like I am contradicting myself, but I saw the woman unattach her spirit from her body; but at the same time I could not see her spirit. It was more like, I just knew she left – it was a knowing that I knew so absolutely, I felt I could see her.
She immediately shot up the staircase to the right, and like an innocent, lost puppy, I glided right up the stairs behind her. I had no idea why I followed, but when I crested the threshold of the doorjamb, I was ambushed by the woman from my right side. Even though I did not have a body, she attacked me as if I did.
Let me explain.
I was sailing right through the door after her, when the darkened attic came into view. There was just enough light coming from somewhere so that I could make out corners and ceiling height. But no sooner than I saw the light, I was engulfed by a force of rage that was, for a moment, unbelievable. I was flipped through the air like a rag-doll, completing a somersault and landing on my back. Of course, I really had no back, but I had all of the principles of a back; the properties of having a body were still with me.
I did not hurt at all when I landed on the floor at the furthest part of the attic away from the woman. I had to tilt or hyper-extend my head backwards in order to “see” who had just thrown me. By that view, the room was upside down. I could see she was still by the door, watching me. Keep in mind that she had no body either, but I could still “see” her “looking” at me. And she was more furious than words could ever describe. She was huffing and puffing, with no lungs. She fumed with so much power that if she had the ability to “kill” me, it would have been like a fifty-thousand pound weight smashing a butterfly.
But she didn’t actually want to hurt me. She wasn’t mad at me. She was just super angry and I could still feel the words coming out of her, “I’m innocent, I’m innocent!”
I knew the truth of her. She really was innocent of something, but I didn’t know of what. She was furious that she was removed from her body without anyone believing her innocence.
Every molecule in the room was saturated with this woman’s vengeance and it permeated me as well; I could feel it with her, as though I was her. I wasn’t afraid, but if I could have felt fear in that realm, I knew I would have been terrified; and that isn’t a word I use lightly. But then, after several moments of her venting her anger into the room, I began to feel her anger dissipate. She was slowly losing the angry emotion. I felt as though she was slowly realizing how things were going to be for her.
There was no gap in emotion; that is, as the anger left, it was instantly replaced by a perfect peace. To say it better, it was like peace was chasing away the anger; and I could see that for her to transcend that room, she could not be in a state of rage. But the knowledge of who she now was neutralized her rage.
Words simply fail to express it precisely.
Words simply fail to express it precisely.
I continued to lie on the floor and watch her until I felt her anger was completely gone. She just looked at me and she knew I understood. Almost as quickly as her anger slipped away, so did her essence. I watched her invisible essence become absorbed into the ether around her – and she was gone. When she left, there was not one single drop of hate in her, or the room I was in. I couldn’t feel her any longer. She went some place that I was not aware of in my current state of awareness.
I arose from the floor and started out of the room and was transported back to my room and woke up. For a moment, I didn’t know where I was. The attic area of my dream and the room I was actually asleep in were blended together; but slowly the dream visual faded until I could see only my room, and I took in a deep breath. After I realized where I was, a streak of panic came over me and the dream suddenly felt like a nightmare. I found it strange that I was not afraid when I was with her. I can only say the situation seemed very serious and heavy. But looking back, the entire event only seemed to take a few moments.
It was at that same time in my own life that I was having anger issues towards things; my anger was very old. Perhaps from my childhood and the lack of family I always felt I had. This woman allowed me to see how letting go of every ounce of anger can bring perfect peace, while at the same time, she showed me that, as long as I held onto even one molecule of anger, I was holding myself back; I would not go anyplace else in my life – and the place I was trying to reach was the revelation of my own enlightenment. To realize my own enlightenment, I had to let go of my fire and resentment towards everything. What a gift she had given me.